The Sunset...

Now you're just another sunset to me.
Sometimes beautiful, sometimes unseen.
& you fade so fast, all this time I wish you would last.
You're not the last sunset I will see.
But you're everything I wanted the sunset to be.
& I'm sorry that this won't be the last sunset I will see.

For the first time in my life.
I want to experience the sunrise.
Is it all that I want?
Or will it never be enough?
I want to feel the morning light.
To reach a new height.
& finally, for once in my life, be alright.

Because the light is fading.
& I'm still waiting.
At the edge of this town.
For someone to say.
That I'll be ok.
But the beauty is gone.
& I'm left here all alone.
It's dark and it's cold.
There's nothing left here anymore.

For the first time in my life.
I want to experience the sunrise.
Is it all that I want?
Or will it never be enough?
I want to feel the morning light.
To reach a new height.
& finally, for once in my life, be alright.

& you left me crying.
As you drove off into the night.
You don't know what I'm going through.
You don't even care enough to realize what you're puting me through.
& driving off that night.
Will never make things alright.

Because...
Now you're just another sunset to me.
Sometimes beautiful, but somtimes unseen.
& it happened so fast.
That you, my sunset, didn't last.
& you won't be the last sunset I see.
But you happened to be everything I wanted this sunset to be.

For the first time in my life.
I want to experience the sunrise.
& finally, for once in my life, be alright.

emotional breakthrough

I wish I could truly express my feeling,

Find the word for when my heart your stealing,

Tell you how constantly my heart your healing,

But I can't.

///

I wish I could explain the way I feel inside,

Find the word when in you I confide,

Tell you how honestly my thoughts I try to hide,

But its hard.

///

I wish you would stay and never leave,

I found the word my mind needs to cleave,

I'm telling you what I know you'll recieve,

I love you.

Who am I in this shell of skin?
All my faults, and my failiers, and my secrets within?
Even I don't know me, who do I see,
When I look in the mirror I think "that can't be me."
Because what I see is different from others,
I see what I've hidden from my sisters and brothers.
The lies I've told, though of them I'm not proud,
I see every one in the wrinkles of my brow.
The years pass so quickly, and with them I change.
What has been happening in this day and age?
But the wrinkles do not show on he outside,
from everyone around me, they're easy to hide.
So don't make them worse, don't stay on this path.
Someone else you will see in the looking glass.

Yours

You, with your hand outstretched,
Finger on the key.
This lock, that you released,
Is opening, but isn’t free.
And I hope that you can see,
How it beats inside of me.
Instead of putting fear aside,
I wanna run, I want to hide.
I am vulnerably yours.

She who is wanting me
Who’s touch can make me cry.
I can only understand
By never asking her why.
Hear the contradictions fly.
And as hard as I may try
Every truth becomes a lie
In the ache of her reply.

I am passionately
Yours.
And the saddest eyes are
Yours
And the softest skin is
Yours
And the hope I borrow
Yours

So won’t you let me in I’m yours
All that I begin is yours
Every prize I win is yours
At your feet again I’m yours
All I am is yours

All I am is wanting you
I’ve fallen down and I cant seem to come to
If I should die before I wake,
I comment my soul to this ache.

Up above the world so high
Where the water tends to meet the sky.
She’s all I’m after by the toe.
And I won’t let go.
And I wanted you to know
That if you reap what you would sow,
I would take it blow by blow
All I am is
Yours
And the saddest eyes are
Yours
And the softest skin is
Yours
And the hope I borrow
Yours

So won’t you let me in I’m yours
All that I begin is yours
Every prize I win is yours
At your feet again I’m yours
All I am is yours

Lyrics courtesy of Blues Traveler "Yours"

Don't...

Close your eyes
Let the fear pass
Everything to lose
Nothing that will last
Thoughts overtake your mind
Don't let it happen this time
Save yourself the pain
He is the one to blame
Your hands begin to shake
Don't let him make
You like all the rest
You are not a toy
& he is just some boy
Who will save you
From this defining situation
Don't let him treat you
Like you don't matter
That you are some girl
Here for the summer
Times like these are when you miss
That safe, loving kiss
From someone you love
& that loves you back
Not from one who lacks
Feeling for your mind & soul
Who doesn't want to know
You inside and out
Doubt
It is what loses hope
That you will ever know
Someone like him
That would've gone to the moon and back again
Maybe again you will find
A person who loves you for your mind
& is amazed by your soul
Maybe then your heart will be full
Once again.

Look to the Good, Look to the Good

The times we spend on the negative side,

Not understanding that we need to look to the good as a guide.

No more only thinking on the dark parts of our soul,

Because when we do we have to pay the cost, the toll.

We need to look to how God has blessed and not cursed,

Think about all the things he's done first.

I'm not saying completely forget about all your worries and woes,

But he knows and shows that we can keep going with the good memories,

The things that help us to see, and always be, fuller than what's between the sky and the sea,

Look to the Good, Look to the Good, be the real you and I'll be the real me...

Who is She?

Who are you that I see?
She who did wrong.
Who goes beyond
Everything you ever were
What has become of the girl
I once knew
Because she is not you
She had passion and grace
But that look on your face
Tells me you are not she
The one this girl use to be
The laughter has faded
& feeling is numb
She wants to feel something
But it cannot be done
Speak to her
Tell her lies
As everything in her suddenly dies
Listen to her
Before thoughts overtake words
There's nothing left of her
It's all grey
Hardly anything at all to say
She's not herself
She's transforming into who they want
Comfort is still not found
Through it all she crawls
Because fear is what holds her down
The sound as people are talking all around
It's not heard
As she wakes at the beginning of her day
She thinks if only her mistakes
Could be taken away
Maybe it all could be different
Somehow she misses it
Her eyes do not show the life
The way it use to be
She wants to drive all night
& pleads to be free
From something in her life that cannot be seen
She has asked for forgiveness
But why won't it leave her mind
Show her a sign
Of what you want
Something that could be enough
To take away the hurt and pain
Who's to blame?
She isn't the same
Save her from this mess
She can't have anything less
You are the one that made
Her believe
That she could achieve
& feel everything
The one who danced with her in the rain
The one who would act insane
She used to care
She used to be there
For the ones she loved
But not anymore
She just doesn't seem to care
She's all used up
Nothing seems to be enough
Give her emotions back
Let her hear the thunder
What is this spell that she is under?
Who are you?
You shattered piece of glass
Why can't anything good last
Who is this lonely, sad girl?
That nobody wants around
Figure it out
They don't care about you
They make you act the way
That you don't want to
She thinks it's fun
Once the fun has begun
But after it all
She falls
Into a perilous guilt trap
Somehow it doesn't feel right
Maybe your up-tight
No wait, its not right
Then why does she feel comfort
In things that are not
Things that make her more lonely
Then ever before seen
It's cold and she shivers
Lost in lonely dreams
Hold her hand
Make her understand
Feel her pain
Don't leave her side ever again
She can't take the hurt
She hasn't been here
& she can't get back
The mistakes are clawing at the skin
You have witnessed a change of heart
& this is the part
Where it all fades to black
She can't change her life
She can't change where she's at
Nothing is there to save her
As she falls on her knees
She can't talk
Because the world echos
As she begins to fold
The pathetic state she has sold
Herself to
What is left?
Of the mess this girl is
Lifeless is what gives
The greyness to her skin
Save her from doing bad
In the comfort of sin
She's lost it
It's all gone
She doesn't want this
Life is not a game
There's a purpose
& who is to blame
Ourselves...for not trusting the truth
The root.
Of what this life is all about
Maybe doubt
Has overidden her mind
You sigh
She sighs
Both beats of the heart start to die
What a tragic disaster
If only they could come together
& go through it
They might come out
Without any doubt
& happiness could find
A true place in their minds & hearts
That they both could find new starts
Without the ways of the world
Because there is no comfort found
Only hearts being drowned
No sound
Save her
She can save you
Don't let it go on
When you know what to do
Her mind can't take anymore thoughts
Thinking has bruised her soul
She can't take anymore cliche monologues
She's cold and it's dark
Light the match
To give life a new start
This is not the end
It is only a part
Who is this lonely girl I see?
& why is she staring
Right at me?

The reign of the wash

Soggy hands grip the moist cloth tight,

As the two girls in the back slack-off and start to fight.

Moist shorts and cut-off T-shirts,

Soapy cars and couples that flirt.

Yelling loudly at the cars passing by,

Screaming at the old lady's who don't know where they are or why...

The sun flaming down leaving tans and sunburns as he drifts about,

Another car passes leaving the washers in doubt...

But have no fear, the parents are here!!!

They come to give us hope that the drunk will donate instead of buying beer!!!

And now the harsh wet day has come to a close,

You strip of the t-shirt and shorts and say "Couldn't wait to get off those!!!"

This poem was stupidly dedicated to all who came to the carwash on Saturday, the 8th of July, 2006. May ye all be remembered for your stupidity, and the ability to eat lots of cici's pizza. Thank you, and good day.

YOUR "art"

"What do you think?", he shows me his work.
"I think it looks fine if you're in the dark".

Whether it pleases your eye, he doesn't care.
for him alone is why it's really there.

The art is not a scribble, an ink blot,
just a smear, a tittle, or dot.

Art is an interpretation of one's self.
not just a canvas to be laid on a shelf.

Express yourself! You know how.
though it may not get a "cool" or a "wow".

You're not in it for others anyway,
so why try to impress them? Tell them to go away.

MY he"art" IS a pencil, a brush, and a pad,
but if you can't draw, please don't be sad.

The word "art" does not mean a masterpiece,
you musn't collect the world's amenities.

Don't wait for the knock, just open the door.
I think you will like what life has in store.

It whatever way you express your heart,
the way you live, YOUR self, this defines "art".

Forgiveness is givin,

from the way We've been livin,

and now he reigns inside us.

Words

The things we say, the letters, the words,
are not the things we mean inside.
We never say the things we feel,
what we REALLY feel, we can't describe.



In our minds, we go through a scheme,
to find our inner vocabulary.
But no one can see what is in our souls,
what’s in our mind's eye, no one knows.
So think with your mind, before your mouth,
you may be more pleased by what comes out.


The things we say, the language, the terms,
will only destroy you if uttered with haste.
Think before you speak, is what they say,
it will improve your grammatical taste.

Long gone

When it hurts so bad,

why does it feel so good?

I wish this all made sense,

I wish I understood.

Not having you here with me is tearing me up inside,

but I can't stop thinking about you no matter how hard I try.

/////////////////////////////////////////

You know how I feel about you,

and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you,

but it's so hard to do when I can't even be next to you.

Why does it gotta be so complicated?

//////////////////////////////////////////

Loving you feels so right,

but at the same time,

knowing I can't have you keeps me awake at night.

I just want this to be simple,

I just want you here with me.

///////////////////////////////////////////////

to look into your eyes,

to feel the warmth off your smiling face...

then I'd truly be happy.

Right now this distance between us is out of our control,

but I'm still hoping one day soon,

I'll get what I'm wishing for.

Oh LORD please help me now,
I know you can somehow.
Everything is slowly starting to rumble,
As I feel my soul start to crumble.
//////////////////////////////////
Lord I need your strength to get me past,
I need you now because by myself I'll never last.
She's leaving me and I can do nothing to repel the pain,
My soul counts them as it sees my new stain.
////////////////////////////////////
Lord help me now not to break down and tear,
The "fearless" man has now gained a fear.
So Lord keep me going until she gets back,
Lord keep me going, and add to me what I now Lack... LOVE.
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I will miss you Rebecca